commitment

How Do You Know When ‘The Party Is Over’?

respect

Is the fat lady singing? Did the curtain close? Did you hear the final bell? Has Elvis left the building? Are the lights are out? Truth is, in our hearts, we know when the party is over, but sometimes we just don’t want to leave!

There are beginnings and there are endings. We like both to be ‘happy’, don’t we? Well, sometimes they are and sometimes, not so much. The journey of a thousand miles starts with the first step… and ends with the last. It’s easy to identify the first step, right? But after that any one of ‘em could be last. How the heck do we know when to quit? (If you’re thinking that maybe you should have determined that BEFORE you took step one, BAM!!! You got it. Hang with me, though, we’ll get to that.)

Whether we’re talking about a relationship, a job, a work of art, a business or a project – whether it was fun or not – whether you reached your goals, or not… stuff ends. When it ends and how it ends – that’s what matters. That’s what determines how you feel about it as it ends and when you look back on it.

It’s like cooking fish… You should probably stop cooking the fish when it is just shy of done or it will overcook – and it’s probably time to call it quits just shy of having to call it quits (aka when it’s no longer a choice; not your decision).

And, my friends, herein lays the brilliance of having a plan and goals. Backed with a commitment to succeed, your plan and goals are your roadmap and the destination for the journey. You know where you are going and you have a plan to get there. I mean, seriously, how will you know when you get there if you don’t know where you’re going? And how will you know if you’re lost?

When Motivate and Activate was launched in November of 2015, I made a one-year commitment to writing a new blog and leading a one-hour, group coaching and conversation call every week. I wanted to “reach the masses”, and I wanted to eliminate everything that might block people’s participation. So, I made it inexpensive ($50/month). I scheduled the calls midweek and after dinner so that they wouldn’t interfere with anyone’s work, date night or family dining time. ‘Sharing’ was optional. All of the calls were recorded so, if missed, they could be listened to at one’s leisure. See, I had a plan.

And, along with my trusty Wing Woman Extraordinaire, Tracy, we set goals. We would consider the program to be a work in progress until we had at least 50 members. It was fully expected that 100 people would be enrolled by the January of 2016… and that we’d have to split into segments and add more weekly calls so people would have a chance to get some one-on-one with me. I had visions of special interest groups, live workshops and gift cd sets.

Short version… that didn’t happen. The ‘fish fried’ for six months without the anticipated numbers, but my commitment was for a full year – and I couldn’t/wouldn’t abandon those who had enrolled. I had followed my plan and, although I LOVED the journey, I never reached the destination. Elvis had left the building. My heart told me the fish was fully fried.

Was the program a failure? NO WAY! It was awesome and I’d be thrilled to do it again. (In fact, I will, when I can figure out how to monetize it.) Did I quit? NO, I took it to completion. Did the party end? Silly question, all parties end. But, to answer the question: SURE, the party ended… but that didn’t make it any less of a great party!

THE CHICKEN HAD A GOOD IDEA!

Chicken

 

When I have what I consider to be a really good idea – I mean a really good idea, I create a plan and jump into action. Sometimes this results in ‘a really good idea that didn’t quite work out to be what I envisioned’. My short foray into the world of Yardles (surprise decorating of front yards for all occasions) is still high on my list of really clever ideas that never made it big.  Other times the results have been simply off the charts. When I was barely thirty I created a business writing gag lines on latex balloons; decorating with them and delivering them in bouquets. An article featuring ME in Time Magazine and guest appearances on crazy numbers of radio and TV shows attest to the success of that idea. It supported my family for over 30 years!

So what, I’ve asked myself, what made one idea fail and the other blossom into an internationally known 7-figure company? Same creator, generally appealing to the same audience…  what was different? Me, I realized. It was me and my attitude toward the project. When people didn’t immediately rush to order a Yardle, I questioned the feasibility of my idea. When one was ordered that had to be done between 4 am and 5 am, the job was turned down. Yardles was a ‘good idea’. Balloon Affair was a commitment.

This gal does not offer up the words “I’m committed” flippantly. When I do commit to anything (a project, person, idea, task or bacon ‘n eggs breakfast) you can count on me – like death, taxes and Trump’s comb-over. I will do it. I will make it happen. NO MATTER WHAT.

No Reasons – Just Results! That’s how the balloon biz grew. I believed in it and I worked it. There was simply no quitting… even when people laughed at the idea of building a business with rubber balloons… even when ‘head’quarters was in my girlfriend’s guest bathroom… even when I carelessly opened the trunk of my car and lost 100 balloons to the wild blue yonder! Stuff happens, right? And when you are committed you just keep moving forward. NO MATTER WHAT.

Commitment meant working every holiday from dawn to exhaustion… because I said so. Commitment meant sticking with it when I was the only worker who didn’t get paid that week.

Commitment meant cutting myself off from any possibility outside of achieving my results.

Commitment meant EXPECTING it to all work – knowing down deep inside that I would not -could not fail. I was 100% dedicated to my company… ask my children who almost never saw their mom on weekends unless they were with her being ‘ballonatics’!

It seems silly to say 100% dedicated. Saying that you can be anything but 100% committed is like saying you’re just a ‘little’ pregnant… Either you are, or you’re not – all in or all out.

WHAT AM I SAYING WHEN I SAY ‘YES’?

yes-noby Sandye Linnetz

YES is a mighty powerful word… are you mindful when you use it? According to the dictionary it is an affirmative response that “gives agreement”. YES is a decision and a choice. Are you choosing carefully and with consideration when you make that commitment? And let’s be clear, YES is a commitment.

You’ve probably heard that when you say YES to something you are, simultaneously, saying NO to something else. It’s that front of the hand/back of the hand kind of thing – you can’t have one without the other. A YES to yourself may include a NO to putting others first. A YES to others may include putting yourself on the back burner. YES is a choice and the choice is yours!

Saying YES to what you want – your desired outcome in any area of your life – is likely a NO to the way it is and the way it was. Your commitment – your YES – to success or joy or excellence is a resounding NO to the people, situations, activities and thoughts that currently leave you feeling stressed, upset, confused, disillusioned or distraught.

A YES to over-committing yourself may be a NO to doing your best; it’s certainly a YES to stress. A YES to organization is a NO to clutter and chaos. In business, a YES to profitability is a NO to working by the seat of your pants.

Years ago I starred in a community theater production of 70 Girls 70 (by John Kander and Fred Ebb). One of my favorite songs was “Yes”- Liza Minnelli sang it on “Liza with a Z” before I did it. It was a joy to sing. Here’s an excerpt:

Say “Yes.”
Life keeps happening every day,
Say “Yes.”
When possibilities come your way,
You can’t start wondering what to say

Don’t say “Why,”
Say “Why not?”
What lies beyond what is,
Is not.
So what?
Say “Yes.”

So I suggest that you say YES to what excites you… to those things or people in life you hold precious – and start with saying YES to yourself.