So You’re Ready to Cull the Herd… Now What?

meme cull the herd

cull the herd – NO toxic people!

Culling is very important in any herding operation because it’s how you get rid of those with inferior genetic qualities, those that are no longer productive, and those that have no value being in the herd any more. Each ‘wrangler’ has a unique set of culling standards; some more stringent than others. But in the end, all wranglers have the same ultimate objective when it comes to culling: The herd is to consist of ONLY healthy, productive, value adders .   ~Sandye Linnetz, Herd Wrangler

Why don’t we cull the herd as soon as we have the thought, “Something’s not right here – this is not working for me.”? Sure, risking the unknown can be uncomfortable – even scary, but still what keeps us stuck when deep down we know they should go? What has us hold on when it makes us unhappy and maybe even miserable? Why do we allow people to stay in our herd when they not only don’t add value, they actually take it away? Methinks that knowing the answer (which is likely to be different in each situation) will actually spur us on to action and get us to cull the herd.

Here, then, is a list of possible reasons that we stay stuck in relationships that don’t seem serve us. There’s nothing like a good old-fashioned rationalization, so get ready, for ‘excuses R us’.

First the ‘out loud’ excuses that we might share with someone who asks us the big WHY?

  • The timing is off. I can’t do it right now; but I will do it some day.
  • I’m too stressed. I have to take care of me- then I’ll handle that.
  • It might be me. Maybe I’m making too much out of this.
  • I don’t want to hurt her.
  • But he needs me.

And now the silent reasons:

But I can’t dump that client, I need the money.

She’s horrible and mean but she reminds me of my mother and that’s oddly comforting.

If I dump her I won’t get to _________________________ (fill in the blank with something like “use her pool” or “hang out with her friends”).

So, my friends, what do you want????