possibility


IS YOUR GLASS ½ EMPTY OR ½ FULL? DOES IT MATTER?

Half Empty Half Full

FULL of Possibility

I’m clearly a ½ full kinda gal – ask anyone. In fact, if truth be told (and I want nothing less) I tend to see the glass as overflowing most of the time. I am a master at spinning straw into gold. Yes, I do believe that I was born with that proclivity, but there are days when I actually have to work at seeing life through those rosy glasses of mine. I see positivity as a muscle – work it and it grows!

Okay, “So what?” you ask. Well, I’ll tell ya… Scientists have proven that a positive outlook actually makes a difference in life; health, wealth and emotional well-being. Expecting good things to happen naturally leads you to taking actions that produce more positive results. Expecting bad stuff to come your way can actually keep you from doing the very things that might have minimized or avoided just that!

But the value of a positive ‘see the glass as ½  full attitude’ about life is not the whole idea behind my blog today. The real question I pose is this: You may think you have a positive outlook, but are you REALLY a ½ full person? Most of us claim to be, but that positive outlook shows up in our speaking as well as in our thoughts! What are you saying and what are you thinking? What do you notice first about the people and the world around you?

Do you start with the premise that there’s good news everywhere? Do you notice what’s present… or what’s missing? Do you wake up in the morning and celebrate another day of life or bemoan the fact that you have to wake up and get to work? When you look in the mirror do you smile and see a living, breathing person with body parts that work and the ability to see and touch and taste and feel and love? Or do you look in the mirror and notice that your youthful skin is becoming wrinkled, the thick, shiny hair is disappearing, and your high school physic is gone? Do you notice the impending rain clouds or that sliver of glorious sunshine? When you meet someone new, do you first notice what you see that attracts you or are you looking for flaws? Are you even aware of what you see and think? As usual, becoming aware is always step one…

And, when it comes to your life, are you more inclined to first notice what’s ‘missing’ (like money, love, joy, health) or do you celebrate what you have (like money, love, joy and health)? Are you on a mission to fill the holes, or are the holes just something you notice in passing and use as a guide…

Case in point: I have a client who considers himself to be a positive  ½ full guy… he told me so. Then, two minutes later he flat out said that he doesn’t consider himself successful because he “can’t even afford to buy a house”. Whaaat? (NOTE: His attention was clearly on what’s missing; not what he has.) After a few minutes of coaching and conversation he recognized the ½ emptiness of his speaking and realized that, of course he could buy a house – just not his dream house…YET! I asked him what he could afford and he began again – a roof over his head with running water and indoor toilets and an office and a little yard (he went on and on) and finally saw that what he could have right now was pretty terrific AND a step toward that dream house.

So, notice… if you claim to be a ½ full person, do you first notice what you have (i.e., count your blessings) or take stock of what’s missing in your life?

My glass is ½ full (with clean fresh water) – the other ½ is filled with possibility!


Just How Awful Is Your Life?

By Sandye Linnetz

What do you say to someone who constantly moans and groans and is all about everything that’s missing and crappy in his/her life? Sure, if it’s an ‘acquaintance’ you can probably tune it out and ignore it, but what if it’s a family member or an old friend who you are unwilling to simply ‘disappear’ from your life? Annoying, isn’t it? It’s easy to simply cut the negative people out of your life – and that may be the best choice, but I’m a sucker for the opportunity to empower people to turn it around! So, when you want to empower someone to see life from another perspective, What do you say? What do you do?

I, personally, love to start with sarcasm (it’s my ‘go to’ attitude with family and close friends)… Sarcasm, which, I admit, can be undeniably offensive, pretty much forces someone into ‘defend’ mode and that’s right where I want them. (Remember, we’re talking about habitual complainers not someone with a serious and immediate issue!)

I say, make those glass half empty, doomsday spouting, pessimists defend the junk that they’re putting out. Never mind that they usually can’t defend their position without sounding so nutso that even they finally see it; throwing their stuff right back at them literally puts their nose into their own shit! At some point all of their whiney rants and moans sound ridiculous even to them! Yes, I do START with sarcasm, but I almost immediately follow up with a possibility and an alternative way to look at things:

Me: “Are you looking for more evidence to prove that you’re right about how shitty your life is? No problem. Based on all that stuff, your life really stinks. I am happy to help you assemble the boatloads of evidence – it’s everywhere! Let’s look really hard and find more! It’s so obvious that your life absolutely sucks! You’re a giant sucky magnet. If it’s true that you get more of what you focus on, WOW are you focused on sittin’ right in the middle of a dung heap! The view is hellish from down there, huh?”

AND THEN THE RE-FRAME – POSSIBILTY!

“Personally, my life doesn’t always fit my pictures of what I ‘expected’, either, so I know how you feel. The stuff life can throw at me, the curve balls, sometimes rock me to my shoes… if I let it. What works for me is that I choose JOY and focus on that instead of the circumstances! I’d rather dwell on all that I HAVE and be wildly grateful, instead of dwelling on what’s missing from my life and making it even worse. And, it’s funny how the what’s missing part disappears in the abundance.”

Yes, I am a full cup gal. It works…


RIDE THE HORSE IN THE DIRECTION IT’S GOING

 By Sandye Linnetz

In life, we have ‘beliefs’…  lots of beliefs. It’s all that stuff we absolutely ‘know’ is true – about life, love, business, spirituality, exercise, learning and even oatmeal!

“Making money is good” “the toilet paper should come OVER the roll” “nice guys finish last” “money doesn’t grow on trees” “Hard work pays off” “It’s better to be busy than bored”  “the road to success is filled with potholes”  “If it feels like work you’re in the wrong business” “I am boring” “Those people are boring” “WORK ISN’T FUN”  “THIS IS GOING TO TAKE A LONG TIME” “there aren’t enough hours in the day” “some things just can’t be done” “I’m not smart enough” “Money is the Possibility of Freedom” “Time is the most valuable commodity I have” “I’ll never be able to do that” “I can do anything I put my mind to” (You have millions of your own, don’t you?)

What do you BELIEVE about life – and yours in particular?  Pretend that you have to give a speech to 12th graders about what it’s like to be in you. What would you tell them? This is a great way to get clear about where you are and what you believe about what you do. How do your “beliefs” match your current reality?

Think about this: The way it is now is the lowest common denominator between what you want and what you are willing to accept.  Okay, reread that line until you really ‘get’ it.

Perhaps it’s time for you to raise the bar. First, see your reality as it is – no judgments, no interpretations – just let it be; accept your reality as it is. Don’t resist it, that doesn’t work. Notice it. Notice everything about it!

Now, design a new outcome. What do you want your reality to look like? What’s the dream; the perfect world scenario? Not really sure? Make it up. Your call…

Are you ready for that new reality? What would you have to do and who would you have to be in order for that reality to be yours? Step into it… take the steps (baby steps at first, maybe) to have it… and own it.

What will it take to get to the next step toward your measure of success?  Be creative in your thinking.  Brainstorm with people who are already there – or have been there. Drop the “what ifs” and step up to the ‘HOW’ plate. Take a swing at “how to get to where you want to be”.  (According to the California Lottery, “You can’t win if you don’t play”!)

The truth (or, ‘a’ truth): What you resist will persist.  When you allow things to ‘be’ just the way they are, you can create miracles for yourself.  Ride the horse in the direction it’s going and you’ll end up in the control of the reins. (And enjoy the ride)!