Finding JOY in My Demons

Inner Demons

I’m on a Journey to Joy (depression begone!), and I had an ‘aha’ today. It’s time for me to make friends with my demons. Not like jump ship on my joyful self, rather to include all of me in ME. I like being the happy, skippy, jumpy Sandye; the one who always finds the pony in the poop. I’ve been ‘Susie Sunshine’ for so long that it’s become my identity…  but, based on the way I’ve been feeling, there’s more to me than that. I see now that as I scoop the poop, looking for the pony, I’ve been inadvertently burying my demons.

I always say that step one is awareness. Well, I’m there. I admit it, I have a dark side and I can no longer pretend it’s not part of me. Sometimes I’m not nice – or thoughtful or even loving. Sometimes I’m scared (and scared of being scared). In the past I treated insecurity, fear – and even anger  – as an unwelcome invasion from an outside source. Now I get it. It’s part of me. And then the big question pops up: What if it’s a necessary part of me? Isn’t ignoring it being inauthentic (something I don’t want to be)?

Burying my demons (aka my fears, insecurities and dark side) only puts them out of sight, it doesn’t eliminate them. Eventually they always seem to dig their way out to terrorize me again. So I had this thought… What if I got to know them? What if I invited them out into the open? Would I find them less ‘fearsome”? Time to ‘google’ my mind and ask myself some positive, open-ended questions. What is possible if I actually embrace all of me? How can I use my demons to be the best me possible? How can I use my demons to increase my joy? Where do I start…?

As expected, reaching out for universal answers is literally deluging me with amazing (and somewhat unexpected) results! And, it’s happening at such a rapid rate that I’m feeling a bit overwhelmed right now!

Sharing my Journey to Joy with you is a powerful step in accepting who I am… in finally owning my humanity – the good, the bad, the ugly and the magnificent. If it’s true that ‘fear of falling’ has us fall (and I do believe that it does), then it follows that knowing that I could fall, but not fearing it – just being prepared for it if it does happen – is likely to keep me upright. And, if I do fall, it’s just a fall. It doesn’t have to ‘mean’ anything about me. Hmmm, that’s comforting.

So I have this dark side.  I don’t have to live there (or live in fear of living there), I don’t even have to go there (except maybe to check-in occasionally and water the plants), and if I do, I can always leave when I want to…

And, besides, I have a VERY bright ‘lite side’… I think I’ll hang out there!


I Don’t Procrastinate… My To-Do List Is Just Always Full



Few people who know me would list procrastination as one of my traits. I’m a doer. I know the value of starting and completing. I say what I’m going to do and I do it. I’m on the edge of neurotic about keeping things neat and clean, having my blogs done on time, paying my bills, sending out invoices, picking up the mail and having my toenails painted red.  You certainly wouldn’t peg me as a likely candidate for procrastination coaching, but…

There’s that stuff that I ‘should’ do – and I will get to it, really. I know that I have to make it happen, eventually. I’ve been thinking about it. (Sometimes I even dream about it). It’s just not time yet. I’ll deal with it, promise. I’ll be glad when this is off my plate – wish it would just disappear. Someday I won’t even have to think about it any more! I will handle it, really. I know it’s important, but so is all this other stuff I’m doing. My to-do list is just full! And there’s just so much time in a day, you know. Give me time. I won’t forget. It’s on my mental list. I’ll take care of it soon.

And, ‘what if’? What if it’s even harder than I think it will be? What if I screw it up? What if it can’t be fixed? Will they find out I’m not ‘so much’? Will she be angry? Will he be hurt? Would they stop being my friends? What if it’s even more expensive than I imagined? What if the outcome is even worse than my nightmare? Maybe someone else will take care of it. Maybe it will go away if I ignore it.

Honestly, thinking about the crap I haven’t done – and ‘should’ or ‘must’ do – is exhausting. And you just got a close up view of the junk in the procrastination corner of my brain! Nasty self talk that serves only to keep me from doing what I know to do… and despising myself for not doing it.

All of those thoughts pop up… sometimes all at once; loud and irritating! If I really thought about it, I’d probably realize that goin’ all Nike on it (“just doin’ it”) would kill the voices and give me peace. What’s gonna forward me here? Putting ‘it’ off and avoiding whatever fear or pleasure is behind getting it done, or dealing with it and shutting up those damnable voices???

Eventually the voices are too loud, the issue festers and I move into action. Here’s what I find: It’s never as bad as I thought it could be. It’s always easier than I thought it would be. And it feels so great to have done it! So, I got my eyes checked, I changed the air filters, replaced the water filter, joined the gym and finished my book!  Dang, that feels so amazing!

Come on… WHAT’s NEXT?

Who Needs A Coach?


So often someone else can see what you we don’t. Sometimes we can’t… sometimes we just don’t want to see. Either way, getting another point of view – seeing ourselves through the eyes of someone we trust – can be just what we need to get ‘unstuck’ or to get that extra push in the direction of our dreams.

When life is unfulfilling or goals are not being met, when we don’t know where to turn or what to do next… or when life is good but that nagging feeling reminds us that it’s not ‘all it could be’, it’s time to find a coach. Sometimes there’s a specific urgent problem to tackle and we’re in overwhelm. Other times we know we’re on the right track but we want to accelerate the game.  And, of course, there are those times when we realize that we simply don’t know HOW to do what we know needs to be done!

When I coach I listen first… Where are you NOW? Where do you want to BE? What results are you aiming for and… do you have a plan? It starts with a dream, an idea, a passion. Your coach works with you to identify and SPEAK it! Then comes the strategic planning – the big picture and then the specific steps to achieve the desired results. Now you have a plan. Time to implement. Your coach (assuming you’ve chosen wisely) is as invested in your success as you are. To that end, she or he now becomes your accountability coach. You have steps to follow and your coach will remind you that when you do what you said you would do, you get the results you said you wanted. Yes, sometimes re-working the steps is necessary, and your coach is right there to do that with you.

And then there’s that ‘thing’ we call mindset. When you get stuck or blocked or frustrated or overwhelmed (and we all do now and then), your coach works the mindset magic and you get clarity and focus.

Can you save the money and do all of the planning, create the specific steps, implement them, hold yourself accountable and clear away the muck for yourself? Without investing in a coach? SURE you can… but, will you be able to do it all on your own? Do you really want to? Or, would you rather ease the pressure, invest in yourself and take an easier, faster route to success?

I choose having a coach… and I AM A COACH. My coach sees what I miss – that stuff that’s so deeply ingrained in who I am; my old patterns and beliefs– and literally ‘coaches’ me over the hurdles. And that, my friends, is both so totally awesome and WHY I do what I do. I AM A COACH And… I HAVE A COACH and I’m glad. Everyone needs a coach!