negative

‘NO’ IS NOT A FOUR-LETTER WORD.

Zone

Contrary to popular belief, NO is not an insult, a rude response, or a rejection causing four-letter word. It’s just a word. Yes, it is a negative response, but not every negative thing is bad, is it? How about testing negative for aids? How about having a negative balance on your credit card? Finding the negatives to those beloved old family photos or working with negative numbers isn’t bad, either.

NO is just one of the many possible answers we can give when we’re asked a question, asked for a favor or a request is made of us. Although I’m a pretty consistent people pleasin’ yes sayer, there are plenty of times that I utter the noble NO.

I thoughtfully review all requests for my precious time, attention, hard-earned money or creative skills. I’m slightly less likely to expend a lot of energy contemplating a request for an old family recipe or the contact information for my mani-pedi guy. I’m a coach, so people frequently ask me for advice. Sometimes it’s a recommendation or testimonial that’s requested. All of those situations – along with social invitations and babysitting require different kinds of “no” – assuming that NO is the answer.

So much of how you respond depends on how you feel about the request and the requester. Do you want to say YES? NO? Are you comfortable saying NO? What’s the situation? Who’s making the request? Can you fulfill the request without ordering Valium, changing your entire life around or losing yourself in the shuffle? And, do you even have the ability, skills and/or resources to grant the request? So much to consider…This is why declining a request can often get a little sticky and little tricky.

I’ve never really been comfortable saying NO (the thought of hurting someone’s feelings or disappointing them is so unpleasant to me).  Besides, I love to be the good guy! Learning the NO wasn’t an easy lesson for me, but I would have been out of business without having done so.

I used to run a party and event planning business. Not a week went by without a request from one charity or another (sometimes it was daily) for something I had that they wanted… donated! It took me a while, but I did learn that if I said yes to everyone who asked, I wouldn’t be in business any more – and then, I’d be unable to help anyone! That’s when I developed my now famous, NO with a counter offer approach to requests.

While I seldom gave any group everything they asked for as a donation, I always gave every charity that made a request something ‘on the house’. No one was turned away. And my response to all of them was basically the same. “Oh, how I would LOVE to do all of that for you, but if I did, this store wouldn’t be here the next time you or someone else needed me. Can’t do all of that, but here’s what I can do…” And then I would make a counter-offer they couldn’t refuse. Got to love a WIN-WIN situation. Did any of us walk away feeling hurt or disappointed? NO, of course, not.

MONEY LOVES YOU AND IT’S ALWAYS THERE FOR YOU

MEMESHAKE MONEYMAKER

There’s plenty of money around and I’m glad, ‘cuz everyone loves money! At least that’s MY story – and I’m sticking to it. I also believe that money is very important and having it is the possibility of freedom for all of us.

Money has more ‘followers’ and ‘likes’ than anyone on Facebook. And isn’t it interesting that one’s background, IQ, social status and education are all totally irrelevant when it comes to how much we each get to have?

We all know people who just ‘got lucky’ in the money realm. Some of the richest people on the planet didn’t go to college and came from the ‘other side of the tracks’. Doesn’t matter what you history is… you can still have lots of money no matter where you were born – or to whom. I know people who work 24/7 and lose money 24/7. So, clearly, it’s not how hard or long you work, either. And, sadly, we all know a few truly brilliant individuals who can barely seem to scrape together enough money to get by. So it’s not how smart you are that determines how much money you have.  What’s the deal? If it’s not an off the charts IQ, rich parents or hard work that makes you rich, what is it?

Besides knowing money basics (understanding the numbers, banking, the market, credit, compounding interest and the like), it seems that most researchers agree that it’s not ‘what you know’, it’s what you BELIEVE  (even unconsciously) about money, that either paralyzes you or frees you up to have lots and enjoy it.

Our Money Beliefs = The Way We Talk About Money = Our Feelings and Emotions About Money= Our Actions Around Money = Our Reality

The simplest way to shut down your fiduciary pity party is through GRATITUDE. When you focus on what you HAVE instead of what you’re missing; when you recognize and appreciate all the blessings in your life – and concentrate on them, you get MORE! It sounds so simple… and it is! What you put your intention and attention on money, it shows up. Well, if you expect it, it will.

Here’s how it works: You have beliefs about money and those beliefs color the way you speak about money. When you are grounded in abundance you talk about money as being plentiful, available and attainable. That makes you feel good and positive about having enough – or more than enough – money in your life. When you feel good about money and know that it’s abundant, those good feelings move you to take actions that will keep it in your life. And, BAM! Abundance is your reality. See, I told you it was simple.

If you want to try something more concrete, try this: Write down a list of your negative money beliefs. Three to five of your biggies is fine.

  • I don’t make enough money.
  • I’ll never have enough money.

Now restate them as feelings.

  • I don’t feel like I make enough money.
  • I feel like I’ll never have enough money.

Now reframe them positively.

  • I always make enough money for all my wants and needs.
  • I’ll always have enough money for myself and for sharing, too.

Too much of a leap? Okay what would you be open to or willing to have? State them that way for now.

  • I’m open to making enough money to cover all my wants and needs.
  • I’m willing to make enough money to cover all my wants and needs
  • I’m open to having enough money for myself and for sharing.
  • I’m willing to have enough money for myself and for sharing.

Finally, choose some awesome new concrete beliefs to adopt (There’s plenty of money for everyone! I love money and it’s attracted to me.) and begin to transform your fiduciary forecast. And remember: Mantras and affirmations – phrases of intention – are just telling the truth in advance – so long as you’re also being responsible and taking solid action steps to implement those new beliefs, you are on the way to abundance.