journey


How Do You Know When ‘The Party Is Over’?

respect

Is the fat lady singing? Did the curtain close? Did you hear the final bell? Has Elvis left the building? Are the lights are out? Truth is, in our hearts, we know when the party is over, but sometimes we just don’t want to leave!

There are beginnings and there are endings. We like both to be ‘happy’, don’t we? Well, sometimes they are and sometimes, not so much. The journey of a thousand miles starts with the first step… and ends with the last. It’s easy to identify the first step, right? But after that any one of ‘em could be last. How the heck do we know when to quit? (If you’re thinking that maybe you should have determined that BEFORE you took step one, BAM!!! You got it. Hang with me, though, we’ll get to that.)

Whether we’re talking about a relationship, a job, a work of art, a business or a project – whether it was fun or not – whether you reached your goals, or not… stuff ends. When it ends and how it ends – that’s what matters. That’s what determines how you feel about it as it ends and when you look back on it.

It’s like cooking fish… You should probably stop cooking the fish when it is just shy of done or it will overcook – and it’s probably time to call it quits just shy of having to call it quits (aka when it’s no longer a choice; not your decision).

And, my friends, herein lays the brilliance of having a plan and goals. Backed with a commitment to succeed, your plan and goals are your roadmap and the destination for the journey. You know where you are going and you have a plan to get there. I mean, seriously, how will you know when you get there if you don’t know where you’re going? And how will you know if you’re lost?

When Motivate and Activate was launched in November of 2015, I made a one-year commitment to writing a new blog and leading a one-hour, group coaching and conversation call every week. I wanted to “reach the masses”, and I wanted to eliminate everything that might block people’s participation. So, I made it inexpensive ($50/month). I scheduled the calls midweek and after dinner so that they wouldn’t interfere with anyone’s work, date night or family dining time. ‘Sharing’ was optional. All of the calls were recorded so, if missed, they could be listened to at one’s leisure. See, I had a plan.

And, along with my trusty Wing Woman Extraordinaire, Tracy, we set goals. We would consider the program to be a work in progress until we had at least 50 members. It was fully expected that 100 people would be enrolled by the January of 2016… and that we’d have to split into segments and add more weekly calls so people would have a chance to get some one-on-one with me. I had visions of special interest groups, live workshops and gift cd sets.

Short version… that didn’t happen. The ‘fish fried’ for six months without the anticipated numbers, but my commitment was for a full year – and I couldn’t/wouldn’t abandon those who had enrolled. I had followed my plan and, although I LOVED the journey, I never reached the destination. Elvis had left the building. My heart told me the fish was fully fried.

Was the program a failure? NO WAY! It was awesome and I’d be thrilled to do it again. (In fact, I will, when I can figure out how to monetize it.) Did I quit? NO, I took it to completion. Did the party end? Silly question, all parties end. But, to answer the question: SURE, the party ended… but that didn’t make it any less of a great party!


Finding JOY in My Demons

Inner Demons

I’m on a Journey to Joy (depression begone!), and I had an ‘aha’ today. It’s time for me to make friends with my demons. Not like jump ship on my joyful self, rather to include all of me in ME. I like being the happy, skippy, jumpy Sandye; the one who always finds the pony in the poop. I’ve been ‘Susie Sunshine’ for so long that it’s become my identity…  but, based on the way I’ve been feeling, there’s more to me than that. I see now that as I scoop the poop, looking for the pony, I’ve been inadvertently burying my demons.

I always say that step one is awareness. Well, I’m there. I admit it, I have a dark side and I can no longer pretend it’s not part of me. Sometimes I’m not nice – or thoughtful or even loving. Sometimes I’m scared (and scared of being scared). In the past I treated insecurity, fear – and even anger  – as an unwelcome invasion from an outside source. Now I get it. It’s part of me. And then the big question pops up: What if it’s a necessary part of me? Isn’t ignoring it being inauthentic (something I don’t want to be)?

Burying my demons (aka my fears, insecurities and dark side) only puts them out of sight, it doesn’t eliminate them. Eventually they always seem to dig their way out to terrorize me again. So I had this thought… What if I got to know them? What if I invited them out into the open? Would I find them less ‘fearsome”? Time to ‘google’ my mind and ask myself some positive, open-ended questions. What is possible if I actually embrace all of me? How can I use my demons to be the best me possible? How can I use my demons to increase my joy? Where do I start…?

As expected, reaching out for universal answers is literally deluging me with amazing (and somewhat unexpected) results! And, it’s happening at such a rapid rate that I’m feeling a bit overwhelmed right now!

Sharing my Journey to Joy with you is a powerful step in accepting who I am… in finally owning my humanity – the good, the bad, the ugly and the magnificent. If it’s true that ‘fear of falling’ has us fall (and I do believe that it does), then it follows that knowing that I could fall, but not fearing it – just being prepared for it if it does happen – is likely to keep me upright. And, if I do fall, it’s just a fall. It doesn’t have to ‘mean’ anything about me. Hmmm, that’s comforting.

So I have this dark side.  I don’t have to live there (or live in fear of living there), I don’t even have to go there (except maybe to check-in occasionally and water the plants), and if I do, I can always leave when I want to…

And, besides, I have a VERY bright ‘lite side’… I think I’ll hang out there!