celebrate Archives - What Do I Say? What Do I Do?

IS YOUR GLASS ½ EMPTY OR ½ FULL? DOES IT MATTER?

FULL of Possibility

I’m clearly a ½ full kinda gal – ask anyone. In fact, if truth be told (and I want nothing less) I tend to see the glass as overflowing most of the time. I am a master at spinning straw into gold. Yes, I do believe that I was born with that proclivity, but there are days when I actually have to work at seeing life through those rosy glasses of mine. I see positivity as a muscle – work it and it grows!

Okay, “So what?” you ask. Well, I’ll tell ya… Scientists have proven that a positive outlook actually makes a difference in life; health, wealth and emotional well-being. Expecting good things to happen naturally leads you to taking actions that produce more positive results. Expecting bad stuff to come your way can actually keep you from doing the very things that might have minimized or avoided just that!

But the value of a positive ‘see the glass as ½ full attitude’ about life is not the whole idea behind my blog today. The real question I pose is this: You may think you have a positive outlook, but are you REALLY a ½ full person? Most of us claim to be, but that positive outlook shows up in our speaking as well as in our thoughts! What are you saying and what are you thinking? What do you notice first about the people and the world around you?

Do you start with the premise that there’s good news everywhere? Do you notice what’s present… or what’s missing? Do you wake up in the morning and celebrate another day of life or bemoan the fact that you have to wake up and get to work? When you look in the mirror do you smile and see a living, breathing person with body parts that work and the ability to see and touch and taste and feel and love? Or do you look in the mirror and notice that your youthful skin is becoming wrinkled, the thick, shiny hair is disappearing, and your high school physic is gone? Do you notice the impending rain clouds or that sliver of glorious sunshine? When you meet someone new, do you first notice what you see that attracts you or are you looking for flaws? Are you even aware of what you see and think? As usual, becoming aware is always step one…

And, when it comes to your life, are you more inclined to first notice what’s ‘missing’ (like money, love, joy, health) or do you celebrate what you have (like money, love, joy and health)? Are you on a mission to fill the holes, or are the holes just something you notice in passing and use as a guide…

Case in point: I have a client who considers himself to be a positive ½ full guy… he told me so. Then, two minutes later he flat out said that he doesn’t consider himself successful because he “can’t even afford to buy a house”. Whaaat? (NOTE: His attention was clearly on what’s missing; not what he has.) After a few minutes of coaching and conversation he recognized the ½ emptiness of his speaking and realized that, of course he could buy a house – just not his dream house…YET! I asked him what he could afford and he began again – a roof over his head with running water and indoor toilets and an office and a little yard (he went on and on) and finally saw that what he could have right now was pretty terrific AND a step toward that dream house.

So, notice… if you claim to be a ½ full person, do you first notice what you have (i.e., count your blessings) or take stock of what’s missing in your life?

My glass is ½ full (with clean fresh water) – the other ½ is filled with possibility!

Moderate Overindulgence: No Shame No Guilt No Harm No Foul

overindulgence

noun: the action or fact of having too much of something enjoyable

Okay, folks, we are now smack dab in the middle of prime O time! That’s O for overindulgence, the holiday horror. We overdo everything in the name of good cheer. Moderation and good sense are tossed out with the turkey bones and used wrapping paper. Where’d we ever get the idea that the time between Thanksgiving and New Year’s Day gives any of us a license to over eat, over drink, over party, over shop, over buy, over gift, over book or over stress? Look, it’s not just two big dinners and long night of consuming adult beverages… It’s a month and a half of opportunities to make bad choices. Some of us refer to this time as our perfectly acceptable and allowable “cheat days”. The problem is that once we allow ourselves to take a major fall off the wagon, we suffer remorse, beat ourselves up for totally ‘blowing it’ and make New Years resolutions (which are seldom kept) to be better in the future (i.e. eat better, exercise more, spend less, learn to say no). And, more often than not, we repeat this ‘binge and purge’ cycle over and over, suffering the shame and guilt that results from breaking all of our rules. Sound familiar?

Step one is to stop calling it ‘cheating’. Let go of that mindset of dishonesty and deceit. You are NOT cheating. It’s holiday time and your holiday way is different than everyday! Give yourself permission to be joyful and indulgent. You are celebrating… so why not call them Celebration Days?

celebrate

verb: publicly acknowledge a significant or happy day with a social gathering or enjoyable activity

Now define celebration day – what it is and is not. A celebration day is a day to revel, carouse, whoop it up and have fun. It’s all about feeling good and feeling joyful. It isn’t an excuse to break every rule you have and then feel guilty and bad. Nor is it a time to eat everything in sight just because it’s there in front of you and you can… drink to point of drunken stupor… or spend the rent money on gifts and party clothes.

The holidays are about love, spirit and the genuine enjoyment of whom you’re with and what you’re doing. Of course you should celebrate by indulging in your favorite things to eat, drink and do. Of course you should shop, buy, wrap and distribute gifts to the special people in your life. Naturally, you should go to parties and dinners, dress up

The thing to recognize, however, is the dividing line between indulgence and overindulgence. When you learn where that line is… JOB DONE! You’re ready to go out into the world and CELEBRATE! Do… don’t over-do!

To help you keep your overdo-it syndrome in line, here are a few tips to help you ring in the New Year feeling GREAT – especially about yourself.

Regarding over-eating:

Skip every other bite (just kidding). Taste a bite (REALLY taste it) of anything you want. You don’t have to eat the whole thing! Relax, you do not have to be the food police. If ya wanna taste, have a taste!
Drink a lot of water before eating and drinking. This will fill you up – and besides, we tend to think we are hungry when actually we’re thirsty. Drinking water before you start in on those adult beverages is a great way to slow down your intake.
Don’t skip meals to save up calories for holiday parties. It can actually cause you to eat more.

Regarding Money:

Create a budget for gifts, new clothes, postage, whatever categories you’ll be facing.
Stick to the budget!

Regarding Socializing, Holiday Tasks and Life:

Make a schedule that feels comfortable to you – without overbooking, and ample time allotted for each thing you want to do. Seriously WRITE IT DOWN. It works.
Follow your schedule!

Trite and true: Everything in moderation. Pace yourself.