Tracy

YES, I AM UPSET… AND I’M ALMOST OVER IT

Being upset upsets me. I like being happy – who doesn’t? And yet, I know that upsets are normal and common occurrences for all of us. Even we otherwise healthy humans get blind-sided by the circumstances of life. It happened just this morning. I had an early a.m. coaching call and the client was a no show. I waited on the line for 10 minutes – after sending a text and a message – and finally hung up.

For most of my early coaching career, that no-show would have dumped me into a state of serious upset. How dare he waste my time? I got up early just to accommodate his schedule and he doesn’t even have the courtesy to be on the call? Not showing up without canceling in advance is rude and disrespectful! Where was his commitment to me (and to his goals)? I just lost 10 minutes of my life that I’ll never get back. Then, the next 20 minutes of his half hour would have been spent with me stewing and blaming him for my misery. That was ‘then’.

Now I handle things like this a little differently. I’ve created a system for handling those times when the unexpected happens and catches me off guard; when someone doesn’t do what they said they would do, when circumstances get in the way of my plans and when something that needs to be said doesn’t get said. It’s my EASE THE UPSET SYSTEM… and it works 100% of the time (when I follow it).

STEP 1: Acknowledge the upset. Sometimes I even say it outloud. “I’m upset. It doesn’t work for me when people don’t show up for calls.” Being upset is not stupid or petty; it is a natural human emotion that we all experience. You have the right to get upset, and every time you do, it’s an opportunity to learn what triggers your upsets… your emotional reactions. Give yourself permission to be upset about whatever is causing you frustration.

STEP 2: Take a deep breath (or two or three if needed) and count to ten. By taking a break to count to ten, you’re giving yourself time to move from being in a state of upset to seeing the situation from a different perspective. Focus on the numbers and intend to create a calm space.

STEP 3: Reframe the situation Turn your negative thoughts – “That was so disrespectful” into positive thoughts – “Sometimes the unexpected comes up. It doesn’t have anything to do with me.”

STEP 4: Google your Brain Ask yourself: How else could I interpret what happened? What is the value here? (and there’s always some value…)

STEP 5: Take Action Your action may be a smile. It may be communicating (to the right person) what your boundaries are. It may be what I did in this case…

Instead of having a tizzy fit, I took a deep breath and reframed the situation from: “That jerk didn’t show up”. to “I have 20 minutes to type up some valuable coaching notes for him”. I saw that HE was the one who lost out by missing our call, not me. I would still be paid for my time. And then I typed up some notes – including a bit of coaching about ‘keeping commitments’ and the power it gives you. I included the date and time of our next scheduled call and reminded him of my policy that “coaching calls must be rescheduled or canceled 48 hours in advance to avoid payment”.

I do get upset. It’s just that I get over it so quickly that most people never even see it happen!

‘NO’ IS NOT A FOUR-LETTER WORD.

Contrary to popular belief, NO is not an insult, a rude response, or a rejection causing four-letter word. It’s just a word. Yes, it is a negative response, but not every negative thing is bad, is it? How about testing negative for aids? How about having a negative balance on your credit card? Finding the negatives to those beloved old family photos or working with negative numbers isn’t bad, either.

NO is just one of the many possible answers we can give when we’re asked a question, asked for a favor or a request is made of us. Although I’m a pretty consistent people pleasin’ yes sayer, there are plenty of times that I utter the noble NO.

I thoughtfully review all requests for my precious time, attention, hard-earned money or creative skills. I’m slightly less likely to expend a lot of energy contemplating a request for an old family recipe or the contact information for my mani-pedi guy. I’m a coach, so people frequently ask me for advice. Sometimes it’s a recommendation or testimonial that’s requested. All of those situations – along with social invitations and babysitting require different kinds of “no” – assuming that NO is the answer.

So much of how you respond depends on how you feel about the request and the requester. Do you want to say YES? NO? Are you comfortable saying NO? What’s the situation? Who’s making the request? Can you fulfill the request without ordering Valium, changing your entire life around or losing yourself in the shuffle? And, do you even have the ability, skills and/or resources to grant the request? So much to consider…This is why declining a request can often get a little sticky and little tricky.

I’ve never really been comfortable saying NO (the thought of hurting someone’s feelings or disappointing them is so unpleasant to me). Besides, I love to be the good guy! Learning the NO wasn’t an easy lesson for me, but I would have been out of business without having done so.

I used to run a party and event planning business. Not a week went by without a request from one charity or another (sometimes it was daily) for something I had that they wanted… donated! It took me a while, but I did learn that if I said yes to everyone who asked, I wouldn’t be in business any more – and then, I’d be unable to help anyone! That’s when I developed my now famous, NO with a counter offer approach to requests.

While I seldom gave any group everything they asked for as a donation, I always gave every charity that made a request something ‘on the house’. No one was turned away. And my response to all of them was basically the same. “Oh, how I would LOVE to do all of that for you, but if I did, this store wouldn’t be here the next time you or someone else needed me. Can’t do all of that, but here’s what I can do…” And then I would make a counter-offer they couldn’t refuse. Got to love a WIN-WIN situation. Did any of us walk away feeling hurt or disappointed? NO, of course, not.

MONEY LOVES YOU AND IT’S ALWAYS THERE FOR YOU

There’s plenty of money around and I’m glad, ‘cuz everyone loves money! At least that’s MY story – and I’m sticking to it. I also believe that money is very important and having it is the possibility of freedom for all of us.

Money has more ‘followers’ and ‘likes’ than anyone on Facebook. And isn’t it interesting that one’s background, IQ, social status and education are all totally irrelevant when it comes to how much we each get to have?

We all know people who just ‘got lucky’ in the money realm. Some of the richest people on the planet didn’t go to college and came from the ‘other side of the tracks’. Doesn’t matter what you history is… you can still have lots of money no matter where you were born – or to whom. I know people who work 24/7 and lose money 24/7. So, clearly, it’s not how hard or long you work, either. And, sadly, we all know a few truly brilliant individuals who can barely seem to scrape together enough money to get by. So it’s not how smart you are that determines how much money you have. What’s the deal? If it’s not an off the charts IQ, rich parents or hard work that makes you rich, what is it?

Besides knowing money basics (understanding the numbers, banking, the market, credit, compounding interest and the like), it seems that most researchers agree that it’s not ‘what you know’, it’s what you BELIEVE (even unconsciously) about money, that either paralyzes you or frees you up to have lots and enjoy it.

Our Money Beliefs = The Way We Talk About Money = Our Feelings and Emotions About Money= Our Actions Around Money = Our Reality

The simplest way to shut down your fiduciary pity party is through GRATITUDE. When you focus on what you HAVE instead of what you’re missing; when you recognize and appreciate all the blessings in your life – and concentrate on them, you get MORE! It sounds so simple… and it is! What you put your intention and attention on money, it shows up. Well, if you expect it, it will.

Here’s how it works: You have beliefs about money and those beliefs color the way you speak about money. When you are grounded in abundance you talk about money as being plentiful, available and attainable. That makes you feel good and positive about having enough – or more than enough – money in your life. When you feel good about money and know that it’s abundant, those good feelings move you to take actions that will keep it in your life. And, BAM! Abundance is your reality. See, I told you it was simple.

If you want to try something more concrete, try this: Write down a list of your negative money beliefs. Three to five of your biggies is fine.

I don’t make enough money.
I’ll never have enough money.

Now restate them as feelings.

I don’t feel like I make enough money.
I feel like I’ll never have enough money.

Now reframe them positively.

I always make enough money for all my wants and needs.
I’ll always have enough money for myself and for sharing, too.

Too much of a leap? Okay what would you be open to or willing to have? State them that way for now.

I’m open to making enough money to cover all my wants and needs.
I’m willing to make enough money to cover all my wants and needs
I’m open to having enough money for myself and for sharing.
I’m willing to have enough money for myself and for sharing.

Finally, choose some awesome new concrete beliefs to adopt (There’s plenty of money for everyone! I love money and it’s attracted to me.) and begin to transform your fiduciary forecast. And remember: Mantras and affirmations – phrases of intention – are just telling the truth in advance – so long as you’re also being responsible and taking solid action steps to implement those new beliefs, you are on the way to abundance.

NO! ENOUGH is NOT ENOUGH FOR ME!

People often ask how I maintain my ‘cup is always full’, positive, Susie Sunshine attitude about life… how I seem to bounce back so quickly from even the most upsetting hurdles and setbacks. Sit back and relax (Really, I mean it, relax!) I’m about to share some positivity tools with you!

I have an abundance mindset. I believe that there is ‘more than enough’ of everything to go around. There’s always more ‘where that came from’ – whether you’re talkin’ about love, money, opportunity or sunshine! Your success takes nothing from me. Winning today does not mean that I can’t win again tomorrow (In fact, it’s more likely that I will!). Perhaps this explains why I find the concept of ‘enough’ so annoying. It’s playing so small!

My mindset has a lot to do with the language I use and the words I choose. Enough, as a word or a concept, is just too blah for me. It’s over-used and not definitive at all (In fact, it can mean so many different things, I find it down right confusing!)*. I think of enough as a sister word to ‘good’ and ‘fine’ – two words that, while they may seem to be positive, have sinister undertones of negativity, insufficiency and scarcity. I hear those words and the little hairs on the back of my neck jump to attention and send a chill down my spine. I immediately assume that the person speaking has an unspeakable hidden agenda designed to distort or hide the truth.

When people ask how I maintain my positive, Susie Sunshine attitude about life (and they do), what they really want to know is how I seem to bounce back so quickly from even the most upsetting hurdles and setbacks. Well, my friends, it’s all about the mindset. I come from a place of ABUNDANCE (it’s my source – the well I drink from), and to maintain it, I have a system…

I have an ACTIVE attitude of GRATITUDE for life and what shows up

I openly APPRECIATE the people, things and circumstances that surround me

I share, donate and receive GENEROUSLY

I take FULL responsibility for ME and maintain clearly defined boundaries

I am organized and conscious of the abundance around me

I always have a plan

And, probably most important of all…

I ‘GOOGLE MY BRAIN’ AND ASK THE RIGHT QUESTIONS!

“How else could I interpret this?”

“What can I do right now to turn this around?”

“What is there for me to learn here?”

“Can I control this?”

“What’s the ‘win’ here?”

And, yes, it also has a lot to do with the language I use and the words I choose. So, I choose carefully. I don’t want to have just ‘enough’. It’s not ‘enough’! I want abundance; plenty for me and plenty to share.

*ENOUGH:

As much as required: “That’s just enough money to buy some French fries.”

Too much: “I’ve had enough of those fries… I’m about to puke!”

Don’t do that: “Enough already! Don’t put another one of those greasy fries on my plate!”

Stop talking: “Enough said, I got it!”

Shhh! Let’s Talk About Money!

I think my parents had more money than my grandparents… but I’m not really sure. How could I know? It’s not like they ever discussed it around the table at Sunday family dinners. It’s not like any of them ever talked about money at all – except to mention things like: Money doesn’t grow on trees. A penny saved is a penny earned. Money doesn’t buy happiness. The best things in life are free. Money is the root of all evil. We can’t afford it… do you think I’m made of money? ) Money was clearly the elephant in the room – and it was spreading to my head.

My teen years were “spent” in an affluent neighborhood. Huge mansions and sprawling estates overlooked the azure blue pacific. Between the parks and horse trails were majestic peacock-filled tree lined streets. The high school parking lot was filled with expensive, late model cars and the lawns were neatly and artistically manicured.

We didn’t have a swimming pool. I didn’t have my own car. We weren’t Presbyterian – or even Christian and I didn’t have a princess phone in my room! I didn’t really BELONG in my hood – know what I mean? THEY had everything. We were missing some stuff… (Only the herd in my head knew just how much was missing!)

Shortly after we had moved to ‘Wonderland’ my mother was invited to attend a League of Women Voters meeting at a mansion “behind the gates”. She came home with quite a story to share. The hostess, upon hearing which area of Wonderland we resided in, said simply, “Oh? The slums?” Yup. We lived in the slums. And now I knew it for sure! My mother seemed to be more amused than hurt or angry. That really confused me. I wanted to go find that biatch and punch her in the face!

Then, unable to physically punch, I carefully designed some life-altering decisions and drew a bunch of conclusions… some about people, many about money – most with little basis in reality – except, of course, mine. (All of them, you’ll note, were cleverly designed to protect me in the future, and none of them were open for discussion. My elephants were not talking!)

My family was poor and no matter how good I thought my life was, it wasn’t that good; it could be better with more money.

We didn’t belong and never would.

People with a lot of money weren’t nice. In fact, rich people were mean.

Men made the money and women lived off of and bragged about their men, so women were stupid and rich women were the worst!

On the report card of life, I was a B, maybe even a B+… not an A. And, there didn’t seem to be anything I could do about it. I was born a B. Raised as a B. Probably destined to remain a B forever. B wasn’t ‘bad’. It just wasn’t enough. I didn’t have and wasn’t ENOUGH.

Scarcity! There wasn’t enough to go around ‘cuz THEY had it all. I looked around and there was never enough. I was never enough. And I was an excellent detective collecting tons of evidence to prove it!

I was ‘short’ not petite.

I was ‘cute’ not pretty.

I was popular but not in the ‘A’ clique.

I was ‘smart’ not brilliant.

I got all A’s… and one B (“How”, asked my father, “did you screw up in that subject?”)

I got an allowance but it wasn’t ‘enough’.

I had a job as a popcorn-selling usherette, but I didn’t earn ‘enough’.

So, you ask, based on how cleverly you buried yourself in scarcity and not being ‘enough’, Sandye, how did you get out of that self-defeating mindset? Guess you’ll have to listen to the Motivate and Activate call for March 3, 2016. I’ll tell you then. If I have ENOUGH time!

Don’t Go There… It’s Out of Bounds! (When Your Personal Boundaries Require Yellow Tape)

There are times when my boundaries definitely require yellow tape. I can be a one-woman, walkin’-talkin’, boundary bunglin’ crime scene! Seriously, I’ve got some work to do on designing, setting and enforcing my limits. My sand needs some lines drawn in it! My fences need mending. My territory needs marking and my barriers need an integrity check!

It’s not that having yellow tape around me would actually keep anyone away or be a warning of eminent danger (there probably isn’t any… well, not for ‘them’, anyway). I want the tape as a reminder for me that I actually have boundaries – even though they’re sometimes ill defined and difficult to see. That tape would serve to remind me to take care of ‘me’ business; define who I am, what I want and what I value. Then, and only then, can I decide what I require and what I can allow, in order for me to be, do and have it all!

For me, wrapping myself up in yellow tape would be like wearing a body condom. Mmmm. I like being safe. I like feeling protected. Look, I don’t require that life be ‘comfortable’ and totally benign. I do like to step out of that zone and be challenged. And yet, I’ve noticed that when I identify a limit for myself and decide what I want –what I need to support my highest ‘me-ness’, I speak that limit and set a boundary.

I don’t like when people keep me waiting more than 1 or 2 minutes. After 15 minutes I’m done and I’m gone.
I don’t tip as much when service is not good.
I’ll spend an extra 5 minutes on a coaching call, but after 12 I’m feeling ‘used’.

WHOA! Did you catch that? I see my boundary bungle, do you? Clearly, the way things are in my life right now… that stuff that isn’t working, not what I want, disappointing or even down right annoying, is truly a function of what I put up with! My life (great as it is) IS the lowest common denominator between what I say I want and what I have been putting up with; what I’m resigned to accept.

Here’s what I “say” I want:

People should be on time. I don’t want to wait more than a minute or two.
I want excellent service and I will tip well when I get it.
I want half hour calls to be over in 30 -32 minutes.

Here’s the reality of what I have:

People around me are frequently late.
I tip a lot for mediocre service.
My coaching calls are often waaaaay longer than planned.

And here’s WHY:

Although I say I don’t want to wait, I do. I wait 12 – 15 minutes (or more) – until I’m really pissed off!
I tip almost ‘no matter what’, even though I claim to demand excellent service.
I don’t ‘mind’ a coaching call that goes 5 minutes over time, and yet I routinely keep going for waaaaay longer – without charging.

Yes, the yellow tape is definitely for ME. It’s a warning to me. If I ever expect to actually get what I say I want, I will have to STOP accepting anything less. ‘Almost’ is not a win and neither is ‘close’. Enough can’t be enough if it’s not truly enough for me!

Quick, I need more yellow tape!

It’s Time to Acknowledge the ‘ELEPHANT IN YOUR HEAD’

You know about the ‘elephant in the room’, right? We have great big elephants in most of our rooms. They are our bigger-than-life embodiment of those juicy issues that might be considered controversial, uncomfortable or embarrassing. The ‘elephants’ are obvious to pretty much everyone in the room, and yet, no one is talking about them. Shhh! Don’t say the quiet part out loud!

The elephants are ignored, avoided and unspoken, and, although they could be the national debt, sexual preference or imminent death, they aren’t necessarily a big deal. The elephant might be the zit on your nose or the inappropriate way someone is dressed. Oh, glorious elephants: Save us from embarrassment! Shield us from controversy! Deliver us from argument!

And then there are the ‘elephants in your head’… The ‘room’ we had been keeping them in was apparently too public. So we invited them inside. And here they serve us well. We all have ‘em – emotionally charged behemoths that beg for recognition like the elephants that trunk-nudge for a peanut. No peanuts for you, Ms. Pachyderm, you, daughter of a wooly mammoth. You we avoid. Get back into the cage that is my mind! I don’t want to deal with you.

So the elephant in our head goes off to its cage… it does not go away. It is there when you drift off to sleep and still hanging out when you awaken. While you are busy not paying attention to it, it is busy ‘decorating’…hanging mental pictures all over the walls of your mind. You may not speak your elephant, but you will certainly be thinking about it.

I broke off a six-year relationship and, even after almost two years, I really, really, really missed him, being held in his arms and our late night talks. We did talk (very occasionally) on the phone – acceptable topics: his dogs, politics, my family – all safe topics. We never discussed “us”. My elephant was looming large, and apparently so was his. The tension was so thick you could cut it with a tusk!

And then, tired of feeling so suppressed, tired of fighting the elephant in my head and literally longing to revel in full self-expression, I freed the elephant. I told him how I felt, what he meant to me and that I loved him. We both cried. No, we weren’t going to be a couple, but we were truly going to be friends. Caging our elephants had kept us caged, too. Avoiding the difficult conversations hadn’t kept either of us safe; avoiding them had brought us stress, dis-ease, sadness and loneliness. Freeing the elephants was freedom for us. Turns out you can get FULL SELF-EXPRESSION… for peanuts!

How do you get down off an elephant?
(You don’t, you get down off a duck!)

I Don’t Procrastinate… My To-Do List Is Just Always Full

Few people who know me would list procrastination as one of my traits. I’m a doer. I know the value of starting and completing. I say what I’m going to do and I do it. I’m on the edge of neurotic about keeping things neat and clean, having my blogs done on time, paying my bills, sending out invoices, picking up the mail and having my toenails painted red. You certainly wouldn’t peg me as a likely candidate for procrastination coaching, but…

There’s that stuff that I ‘should’ do – and I will get to it, really. I know that I have to make it happen, eventually. I’ve been thinking about it. (Sometimes I even dream about it). It’s just not time yet. I’ll deal with it, promise. I’ll be glad when this is off my plate – wish it would just disappear. Someday I won’t even have to think about it any more! I will handle it, really. I know it’s important, but so is all this other stuff I’m doing. My to-do list is just full! And there’s just so much time in a day, you know. Give me time. I won’t forget. It’s on my mental list. I’ll take care of it soon.

And, ‘what if’? What if it’s even harder than I think it will be? What if I screw it up? What if it can’t be fixed? Will they find out I’m not ‘so much’? Will she be angry? Will he be hurt? Would they stop being my friends? What if it’s even more expensive than I imagined? What if the outcome is even worse than my nightmare? Maybe someone else will take care of it. Maybe it will go away if I ignore it.

Honestly, thinking about the crap I haven’t done – and ‘should’ or ‘must’ do – is exhausting. And you just got a close up view of the junk in the procrastination corner of my brain! Nasty self talk that serves only to keep me from doing what I know to do… and despising myself for not doing it.

All of those thoughts pop up… sometimes all at once; loud and irritating! If I really thought about it, I’d probably realize that goin’ all Nike on it (“just doin’ it”) would kill the voices and give me peace. What’s gonna forward me here? Putting ‘it’ off and avoiding whatever fear or pleasure is behind getting it done, or dealing with it and shutting up those damnable voices???

Eventually the voices are too loud, the issue festers and I move into action. Here’s what I find: It’s never as bad as I thought it could be. It’s always easier than I thought it would be. And it feels so great to have done it! So, I got my eyes checked, I changed the air filters, replaced the water filter, joined the gym and finished my book! Dang, that feels so amazing!

Come on… WHAT’s NEXT?

Patience Is Worth Waiting For…

I used to say that I could never work in a restaurant because “I’m a lousy ‘waiter’”. Sitting in a car or a ‘waiting room’, standing in line or out in the cold, holding the phone for an answer or holding my breath for a response all drove me to distraction. Perhaps worst for me was dealing with sloooooow people. I’ve always been quick. I still like quick. Talk to me and you get an immediate answer. Ask me to do something and, BAM! it’s done (or started, at the very least). And, human that I am, it was my belief that EVERYONE else on the planet should be like me. Problem was… they weren’t. Turns out there are people who like to think before they answer a question. There are people who, by choice or necessity, move slowly. And here was the shocker: Not everyone on the planet gives a rat’s patootie about my agenda, my schedule or me! Some people actually have their own issues, motivations and urgent needs… who knew?

My great Patience Transformation started with my son-in-law. He’s a ‘thinker’. There were times when I repeated myself – sure that he didn’t hear. Sometimes he flat out disagreed with what I said. There were times when he was slow to understand. What I learned was that to communicate with him – and I wanted to – I had to slow ME down, see things from his point of view and listen with patience (or blow off a relationship that meant a lot to me).

Then came the birth of my grandson. There is no way to spend time with any kidlet and not have your patience tested. Babies, toddlers and children can try the patience of anyone! But, being impatient with those who don’t do what you want – when you want it; are slow or picky eaters, have to go potty when it’s time to leave, scream and cry when they don’t want to leave, talk when you want quiet time and won’t stay in bed when it’s beddy bye time, is a natural, human reaction… not effective or helpful in any way, but certainly a human inclination. And so, another piece of my transformation began to fall into place. It was much easier, and a whole lot more fun, to cope with the little love of my life when I was serene and calm and unruffled. I like ‘easy’. And I love FUN! Sometimes you just have to laugh at the cosmic jokes. So, I taught myself to lean back into the cosmic humor of watching a child learn and grow.

And now I am the caregiver for my 92-year-old mother. She isn’t quick. She gets confused and forgetful and repeats herself. She hides things and then forgets where. When it’s time to leave the house she can’t find her purse. Sometimes I feel like screaming. I don’t. It wouldn’t help. It would only upset both of us, and hey, this is the woman who taught me how to use a potty (and I can’t even count how many times that’s come in handy)!

Patience Transformation complete!

Sure, I’ve had other ‘teachers’ (Verizon employees and the cashiers at Wal-Mart and Target come immediately to mind). I’ve been on the road with inconsiderate drivers and on airplanes with stinky seatmates, screaming infants and snoring neighbors. I’ve anxiously waited for test results, checks in the mail and cars to be repaired… and I do so patiently. Turns out it makes me happy.

Waiting, when you have a good attitude, isn’t all that hard. In fact, it can be effortless and even enjoyable. Okay, admittedly a quick visit to Face Book or Candy Crush has often played a part in my willingness to wait, but, hey, I’m a really great waiter!

Gotta Love The Foreplay

According to Webster’s, foreplay is an action or behavior preceding an ‘event’. Well, that’s cool. It means life is jammed packed with foreplay and who doesn’t love foreplay? Gotta love the foreplay! It’s exciting, stimulating, arousing and just plain FUN. I know that for me, what leads to the successful manifestation of my passion is thoughtful, committed, passion-filled foreplay. Yep, I’m definitely a fan.

Relax. Resume normal breathing. This is not a sexual blog – well not exactly. Getting ready IS foreplay – regardless of what you’re getting ready for… It’s what we do to embrace the anticipation, build trust and feel connection. It gets us ready for action. It’s a terrific way to find the ‘sweet spot’ in your business, your relationships… in your life.

Today I had a manicure. Now Johnny (he’s my manicure guy) couldn’t very well just grab my hands and file away. First came the foreplay. Would I like water? (Oh, yes, please.) A pillow for behind my back? (That would be great, thanks.) No cell phone in your ear today, Sandye. (Nope, it’s all about you, me and the nails, Johnny.) French manicure? (But of course. You know I love a French manicure.) And I was ‘ready’… so was he.

After my manicure I headed over for an appointment with my eye doctor. I was nervous and that may have been evident – judging by the degree of foreplay that I was exposed to… “Oh, I see you’re back to see Dr. Manning, Sandye. She’s such a good doctor.” (Ah, build that trust.) “Would you like a cup of coffee and a cookie while you wait? Make yourself comfortable and let me know if you need anything.” (Let me know that you care about me. Make me like you…)

Feeling far more relaxed, and a little less pissed that my eye ‘issue’ was not an issue at the moment, the foreplay of good client service had prepped me for a great client experience. A little foreplay goes a long way!

Take note, getting in the mood and getting others in the moo, is vital to creating that all-important feeling of connection and lubricating the path, ah, getting down to business. Oh, you know what I mean…

When I want to super-infuse a project with excitement – and a much greater likelihood of success, I exercise discipline and restraint. Instead of just jumping in, I plan it out, fully prepare before I begin. Foreplay requires discipline, and it’s sooo worth it!

Inspiration, Motivation and FUN